I totally paused!

I have obviously not really updated about The Challenge lately.  Which is disappointing, because while Kenny has not been quite as funny the last few episodes, Ryan and TJ have picked up the slack.  For example, Ryan tells us,

Everytime Evelyn loses a challenge, an angel gets its wings.

For the record, this upset Ev.  She made a point to bring it up in the reunion show.

So for a basic recap – Wevelyn was ultimately eliminated, which you know made my week two weeks in a row.  Ev and Wes went up against each other, with Ev winning.  The next week, Ev had to compete with Landon, who won by two whole minutes.  It was awesome!

At the end of this particular scenario, Ev throws a temper tantrum.  Aka the thing she does at least once per show.  In most recent experience, this temper tantrum was closely followed by her throwing her elimination round.  But this time she had already lost, so she just blames Luke a ton.  And TJ says,

Never seen a four-year-old on this show before.

Yeah, I loved that.  If I have learned one thing this challenge it’s that I am done having any sympathy for Ev.  She’s a jerk, manipulative, and a sore loser.  Even Kenny manages to be humble when someone beats him!

Normally I would have been updating weekly and posting my anxieties about the upcoming show, but I just didn’t get the chance.  It’s sad, because I really did want to recap, but when you find that you’ve got four episodes to write about, it seems a wee bit silly to do it.

In the end, the final four teams were Kenny, Landon, Jill, and Jenn.  Upon learning this, I had pretty mixed loyalties because of my undying love for both Landon and Kenny.  What this came down to was that I would have been fine with either of them winning.

The final challenge is, as expected, a big exile combined with some of the challenges they had already done.  This is no surprise if you watch this show.  And Landon/Carly are pretty much ahead from the start.

This entire challenge seemed pretty brutal, and I honestly don’t think I could have done it.  A lot of the time, I see the challenge and think “Huh, that would suck, but it’s workable.”  This one required all kinds of crazy things, like paddling a canoe, mountain biking, carrying heavy shit.  Yeah, none of those are my kind of thing.  Cuz they don’t involve reading or blogging.

I will also say that possibly for the first time in challenge history, I really feel that everyone who made it to the final challenge really deserved it.  None of these people were really dishonest, Kenny himself made sure to try and keep his friends to the end, and each of these teams won a challenge and at least one exile.  I say that’s pretty fair.

Anyway, Landon keeps the lead throughout, and he ends up winning.  I’m not embarrassed to say that I got teary.  I’ve long felt that Landon deserved to win a challenge, and I’m so glad he was able to do it.  Although I was sad to learn in the reunion show that he proposed to his girlfriend.  There go my hopes!

I also started thinking about how far Kenny has come – if you remember, on the first Fresh Meat show, he was partnered up with Tina.  They did win some money, but only by virtue of the fact that Coral/Evan had to go home early due to injury.  Maybe Kenny’s performance was diminished by his partner that time around, but it does seem to me that he has improved.  He certainly didn’t call himself Mr. Beautiful back then!

On the whole, it was a pretty satisfying end, though it didn’t really have much drama.  And I honestly can’t wait to see what they come up with next time around!

Hold the presses!  Wes has figured out that something fishy is going on!

So remember a couple of episodes back when CJ and Sydney went into exile against Katelynn and Brandon, but didn’t get to compete at all because Brandon drank some beer?  CJ and Sydney decided to lie and say they competed in some of the exile, and this, dear readers, has now become important.

Since Danny and Sandy lost, Wes considers all the teams in his alliance equal competitor wise.  I ask, again, don’t these people watch this show?  Landon could kick all their asses!  Anyway, Wes is pressing CJ for details and figures out that someone is lying about something…

Cept he thinks they are just lying about what happened in the exile to give themselves an advantage.  I honestly don’t even understand why the contents of the exile are important…there’s weight and puzzles involved, game over.  Regardless of how the weight is distributed, I don’t really want to carry 40 pounds up a mountain, kthxbai.

Wes informs Evelyn that he started to get more lawyer like, nods his head and says “okay, cross examination.”  Oh Wes, you’re not fooling anyone!  No way could you make it through law school!  Wevelyn confronts CJ about what the truth is and…he caves.  See, at this point I’d be all “dude, I’m not telling you!” and leave it at that.  But I’m far too uninterested in these kinds of games to participate in this stuff.  It’s probably why I’m not on the show.

Ev tells us that once someone has lied, you can never trust them again.  Apparently that only applies to everyone who isn’t her or Wes.  Who also says that CJ is asking for it by lying to his face.  These people are so two-faced!

All this drama happens before they even compete in the challenge for the episode, which turns out to be the big log pushing challenge we’ve seen in the promos and credits.  The teams have to push their log 180 degrees around past the finish line, and it looks pretty rough to be honest.  The first heat is Kenny & Laurel teamed with Jill & Pete against Ryan & Theresa with Landon & Carly.  They compete for awhile, and after like an hour, one person from each team is taken out.  Obvs the girls leave, so it’s just the boys on there.  Somehow, Pete gets a second wind and he and Kenny seem to win easily at this point.

I know like five seconds ago I was espousing how Landon is totally awesome, but umm, he’s competing against Mr. Beautiful, who is apparently like the Mighty Thor.  His words, not mine.

So the next heat is Wes & Mandi teamed with CJ & Sydney, versus Evelyn & Luke with Jenn & Noor.  Wevelyn decides that Ev & Luke will just roll over so that Team Wes and totally kill Team Kenny.  Jenn & Noor are not very pleased.

Wevelyn thinks this is going to be super easy, since Team Kenny just competed for over an hour.  However, Mr. Beautiful manages to blind them with his beauty and they handily beat Team Wes.  Like, it’s embarrassing.  If I were Wes, I  would have gone home and cried that night.  Kenny even calls Team Wes “cupcakes”.  Rock on Kenny!

Team Kenny is now competing against each other to determine the full winner of the challenge.  But they aren’t as dumb as Wes would like them to be, so they all decide that Kenny & Laurel are just going to throw it so that Jill & Pete don’t have to go into exile.  In Wes’ own words, “exactly the diametric opposite thing that I wanted to happen today.”  Wes, I do believe the Mighty Thor has been listening in on your confessionals and he is throwing everything in your face!

Team Cupcake is pretty upset about what has happened, and they are pissed that once again, Kenny has all the power.  Dudes, I could have told you before this all started that siding against Kenny was a bad idea.  You saw how mean he was to Sarah last season, that alone should encourage you to be friendly with him.

Wevelyn is trying to figure out how to prevent themselves from being sent into exile, so they want to trick Kenny into getting himself voted in.  But umm, Kenny is smarter than Wes.  I know that some people out there would argue with me, but again, have you watched this show?  The only reason anything goes Wes’ way is purely by accident, I will maintain that to the end.  And yes, I’ve watched all the challenges Wes has been on, and if you recall, the only reason he won the first Duel was because CT disqualified himself in the last Duel.

Anyway, Wevelyn strike up a deal with Kenny where they will throw in CJ if Jill & Pete vote Landon in.  Wes thinks he’s manipulating Kenny, that he has all the power still, when Kenny sees right through them.  Kenny is thinking longer term, about what it will do to the game when *everyone* sees how Wes is throwing in his own alliance.  Not as dumb as he looks, folks.

Poor CJ didn’t see it coming, and Landon in his big heart pajamas is likewise disappointed.  He’s sick of the honest people getting beat in the game, and I’m sympathetic to him.  I would like to see Landon win this whole game, even over Kenny despite my adoration for him, because I have a long standing challenge love for Landon.  He’s a great competitor and he does really well every single time.

Everyone is super mad about what happened, but then they see how Kenny actually played Wevelyn and they become wicked impressed.  Go Team Kenny!  He points out that he is really taking out Team Wes one team at a time, and says, “I should write a book, “How to Dismantle an Entire Alliance” by Mr. Beautiful”.  If you didn’t see my tweet the other day, I’ll just tell you right now that I love this title.

The day of the exile, Wes points out that Landon is just soooooo hard to manipulate, and that he sees alliances as all this shady crap.  Umm, I thought it was GOOD to be hard to manipulate.  I guess I’ve been living my life completely the wrong way!

The big difference with this exile is that there is no time limit on the puzzles, whereas previously there had been a 15 minute time frame.  Pay attention kids, because this is going to come to be important.  Landon is very worried about the puzzles, but he and Carly complete the first one with no problem, so they get their weights and take off!

Someone must have remembered the first Battle of the Sexes, where the girls finished the first puzzle before the boys, but then the boys cheated and looked at how the girls did theirs, so they caught up because of that…because someone took all the pieces out of Landon & Carly’s puzzle.  I don’t know if it would have mattered, because Landon & Carly finish the entire exile before CJ & Sydney even finish the first puzzle.  By the time they reach the top, Landon & Carly have left, and TJ thinks this is pretty damn funny.  I agree Teej, I agree.

Ev is totally bitchy in my view, and asks Landon if they can be friends again.  Everyone says how happy they are to see Landon back, well, everyone except Kenny, who says he’s going to send them in again.  I obviously have mixed feelings about this, but if Landon continues to be on Team Wes, I can’t support him right now.

The events of this episode seem to persuade Jenn and Ryan to jump ship to stay on Team Kenny, so Team Kenny now has the numbers.  They all agree that if anyone from their alliance wins, either Wes & Mandi or Ev & Luke will be sent in, then the rest of the group will vote in the other team.  So hopefully pretty soon, we’ll be done with Wevelyn!

In the face of sadness, I am inclined to try and do things that are part of my regular routine.  Which means I’m watching the Challenge!

We open with some wrestling on the floor, and Theresa is informing us that Carley is happy to run around with her Britney hanging out.  At first, I forgot about that time or two that Britney Spears went running around LA without underwear on.  Once I remembered that, I thought “What a silly thing to say, Theresa.”

Meanwhile, Danny is really emotional and talks about how he misses his mom (who passed away during his RW season), and how that experience made him closer to Wes.

Wes is working more on the strategy where Ryan gets Kenny to throw someone specific in, and Wes keeps Ryan out of exile.  The thing I don’t fully get is…Wes is continually getting Ryan to pick the weakest members of his own alliance.  Which doesn’t make sense.  You would think he’d *want* to keep the weaker teams around.  And wouldn’t he rather that Kenny just throw in a random set of people?  I guess it’s all self preservation?

The team they want sent in is Danny, who is pretty offended by that.  He expected Wes to be more loyal!  Honestly, I would be upset if I were him too.  I know it’s a game and there’s money at stake, but I would be hurt if someone I was legitimately friends with threw me in too.  But Wevelyn tells Danny that he’s just going to go home in another week anyway, so why does he even care if they keep him around another week.  Guess he’s not going to get to stay to the end no matter what!

The challenge this time actually looks kind of difficult.  They have to climb up this ladder thingie, then jump off a platform and grab ahold of a punching bag, then both partners have to be held onto it, at the same time, for a total of five seconds.  Several teams have issues, and it does look kind of hard.  I’m a short lady and I’m glad I didn’t have to do this.

Despite the hard challenge, Kenny and Laurel win again, so they send Danny’s team in.  Wevelyn are pretending they’re going to vote Ryan and Theresa in, but instead choose Jillian and Pete, who seem to have been expecting it a little.  I think pretty much anyone on Team Kenny figures they’re going in.

The exile is pretty intense, but is basically the same thing that Jill and Pete did the first time, so they have that as an advantage.  Danny and Sandy (nice how I finally learn the FM names) are actually ahead the majority of the time, but … Jill and Pete pull it out!  Go Team Kenny!

Danny is pretty upset that Wes picked him to go in, but says he’ll forgive Wes cuz they’re best buds or whatever.  I dislike Danny anyway, so I’m not broken up about this in any way.

And because I’m so late with this, there’s a new Challenge on tonite!

Wes, Ev, and Landon are super happy that another of Kenny’s team went home, and they’re interested in breaking down more of his alliance.  And Theresa is all upset because Kenny told Wes about how she was interested in him first.

In the meantime, Danny apparently wants to relive that time he got his face smashed in.  Do y’all remember that?  When he had to have facial reconstructive surgery or whatever in Austin?  He is picking fights with everyone, and quite honestly, I wish someone would hit him.  I can’t stand him anyway.

So Danny is shoving one of the FM, who is obviously way tougher than Danny.  Although if we’re being serious, I’m tougher than Danny.  Times like these really make me miss CT because you know he would have just taken care of this shit…and lost another challenge due to fighting, but that’s another story altogether.

Wes is pissed at Danny for trying to ruin their well oiled voting machine, so Danny goes and apologizes to the FM and gives him a great big man hug.  It was enough hugging that I’m starting to think that Melinda as Danny’s wife/fiance/whatever is really just a cover.

Oh, and Wes says he and Danny don’t work well together for “professional stuff”.  I had absolutely no idea that this was professional!

Katelynn, who looks like a dude, says she’s going to take bitches down if the challenge is a battle royale on a raft.  I have absolutely no idea why it needs to be on a raft for her to take bitches down, but whatever.  She’s one that was actually on the Real World, but I could have sworn she’s FM.

Big surprise, the challenge is not battle royale on a raft.  I know, I’m as shocked as you are.  And totally disappointed that we won’t be able to see Katelynn take bitches down.  The challenge is basically that you jump off a dock, swim to a wet ramp with big bumps on it, where you climb to the top and once both partners are up, you ring the bell.

Totally unrelated, but I am wicked sad that Landon is playing on Team Wes.  I absolutely adore Landon, and I really think he should be on Team Kenny.

The challenge is pretty uneventful until Katelynn and her FM, the one that was fighting with Danny.  Katelynn is a hot mess, and her helmet is over her eyes, so everyone is making fun of her.  And then she gets half way up the wall, slides down the whole way, and hits every single bump with her knee.  She’s pretty much done.  So much for her desire for raft battle royale!  That being said, I actually like her FM partner, Brandon, and I hope he comes back for future challenges.

Since Laurel is the tallest girl there, she doesn’t actually need Kenny’s help getting up the wall, and they win again.  Which is great in my book!  TJ then says “Who would have thought Kenny would dominate a challenge this much?”  My guess is Evan thought it.  Honestly, I don’t know why people are shocked, Kenny hasn’t been a bad competitor throughout all the challenges he’s been on.  He just happens to have a reputation for being a goofball and Mr. Beautiful too.

Evelyn works out this plan where they will pretend they are sending Ryan into Exile, so he tells Kenny, and Kenny lets him pick CJ and his partner.  But the trick is the group is actually going to vote in Jillian and Pete, thinking CJ will win.  I have no idea why they think this is a landslide, because Jill and Pete *did* do an Exile already, and you know, won.  It just doesn’t seem like the brilliant plan Ev thinks it is, so either I’m really dumb for not getting it, or she’s really dumb for thinking she’s sure to win.  She says she doesn’t think Kenny realizes how badly she’s playing him right now…umm, I don’t either!

However, the wildcard is that Katelynn has some crazy injury where her ACL is maybe torn, so the house switches and Evelyn suggests they send her and Brandon in.  The one thing I’ll give Ev is that she does try to be fair – this is the fair decision to make competition wise.  I’m relatively certain Wes would have preferred keeping a team there that he could definitely beat.

Wes also decides that it’s stupid to let the Kenny thing get between him and Theresa.  It’s all really dumb in my opinion, other than I have absolutely no idea why Theresa is interested in Wes at all.  All I can think is she’s never seen this show, because he treats his girlfriends so poorly, plus he’s just not attractive!  If I were in this house, I’d be hanging out with Ryan.

Katelynn and Brandon agree to just cross over the starting line so that CJ and Sydney are able to go through the Exile, which they believe is going to give them an advantage.  Cept, ruh roh, Brandon drank a beer before heading out, and apparently you aren’t allowed to drink before competing.

The shocking part here is that this show has some kind of rule regarding alcohol consumption.  I had no idea!  Did any of you know this?

CJ and Sydney decide to lie about the fact that they didn’t get to do anything, so they just make up things about the Exile based on what they heard from other people.  They feel it will make them a stronger team.

In the meantime, Landon and CJ are both disappointed that Team Wes doesn’t seem to be taking them totally seriously, and are making decisions without actually considering them.  They decide to form their own alliance, which is maybe not the smartest move in the sense that…no one else is going to vote their way.  I think it would be better for them to join Team Kenny!

On the whole, a relatively boring episode, would have been better if a real fight had happened.  We’ll see how next week goes.

ETA: I learned recently that Katelynn really did used to be a dude.  I feel bad for saying that about her, but can assure you that I honestly thought “that poor girl looks like a dude”.  Had I known the truth, I would have never, ever, made fun of her for that.  Because while she still sucks as a competitor, I am one hundred percent supportive of people making changes in their lives to make them happy.  So, if anyone was offended, please believe that I was ignorant to this fact.  I famously try to avoid googling “facts” for my opinions on this blog, keep that in mind.

So I was going to come home tonite and read the shit out of The Queen’s Dollmaker, but then I reremembered that a new Challenge aired last night, and I was sadly unable to watch due to other plans.  Man I love having a DVR.

Obvs this changed my evening plans, and I’m sorry book, but you will not get close to finished tonite.

I have been, as usual, not so good at writing about this show.  I love it, but I don’t really love to hate on it.  Yet I can’t exactly condone it either.  It’s a big fat mess, kind of like Wes.

The first episode was a little heartbreaking, because Darrell ended up being the first one to go home.  He got a little choked up, and if you will recall, this is actually the first time Darrell has lost a Challenge due to the competition.  He did go home early last time, but that was totally Brad’s fault in my book.

So Darrell gets beat in the exile, and it’s clearly his partners fault.  He’s so sweet though, and instead of throwing her under the bus, he says he’s not going to say anything bad about her.  Bless his heart!

In the meantime, we have the best Kenny line of the show this season:

Mr. Beautiful came to win. Not to fraternize with slutty girls.

I’ve made no secret of my love for Mr. Beautiful.  I know, he’s dumb, and I don’t personally feel that he’s Mr. Beautiful.  But the dude makes me laugh every time he’s on.  I mean, let’s reminisce on his great quotes such as “You’re wearing your mothers shirt” and “All these guys are intimidated in their speedos.  It’s cuz of me.”

And then we have Wes.  Earlier today, when thinking about the show while I was at work, I realized something I’m almost embarrassed to admit – as much as I hate Wes and his personality, I kind of like when he’s on the show.  He thinks he’s this genius, and gorgeous, and I really like watching him get beat.  And I totally love that Johanna hooked up with Kenny and it pissed Wes off.

The second episode had Landon and his partner winning the challenge itself, so they threw Kenny and his partner into exile.  Everyone else voted in Sarah and her FM dude (FYI, I really don’t know these Fresh Meats names, I can barely keep up with the alumni), the idea being that either way, someone in Kenny’s alliance will be going home.

This is kind of a tough one for me, because I like Kenny, I adore Landon, but there he goes siding with Wes.  In case you couldn’t tell, in Team Kenny vs. Team Wes, I’m Team Kenny.  The only thing that would make me happier would be if Evan showed up.

Mr. Beautiful ends up winning, which disappoints Wes.  That’s two wins in my book.

Cut to this weeks episode, where the challenge itself was boring but the drama was fun and that’s what I really care about.  Kenny wins the challenge and they decide to throw Ev in.  Good move!  I never know what to think of Ev.  She kind of drives me crazy, but I also feel bad for her when they pit her against Kelly Anne.

Side note: Wes and Kelly Anne are no longer dating.  I’m not sure which one of them I’m happier for.  Cuz I kind of want to cut Kelly Anne for being so damn annoying all the time.

So everyone else pretty much votes for Paula, since she’s in Kenny’s alliance.  I’m neutral in the Paula book – she’s a little crazy, but again, I feel bad for her sometimes.  It’s a pretty close race, and I honestly didn’t know she had that in her.  I felt bad that she lost, I came close to crying with her when it happened.

In the meantime, we learn that Jenn is actually on Wes’ team, and is just pretending to be in an alliance with Kenny.  Jenn – you’re on notice!  I wasn’t sure how I felt about you before, and now if you turn on Mr. Beautiful, you’re off the list!

Also, Kenny reveals to Wes that he turned Teresa down.  Which if you watch the show, you know there’s some bad blood between them because of the Johanna thing.  I think that’s silly, but anything to get Wes worked up is okay by me.  In the first episode, Teresa was saying she was wavering between her crush on Kenny and the one on Wes – Kenny is Mr. Beautiful, but Wes is the safer choice.  Ummm, don’t these people *watch* the show!?!  Who considers Wes to be good for anything?

We’re three episodes in, and I’m really missing Evan.  Also, I don’t think that the “alumni” side should ever get to consist of people who haven’t been on a challenge before.  There are at least two of these on this show, and I can’t even keep straight who is the alum versus who is the FM.

I have an idea for the next Fresh Meat season – combine Fresh Meat and The Ruins.  So all the alums are champions of the past, and they’re partnered up with new FM.  Plus then maybe we can get my girl Coral back in the action.

As I have mentioned previously, I absolutely love the RW/RR Challenge.  I crave this damn show.

About a month ago, I checked MTVs website for news of a new Challenge, and there was nothing.

Thank god for The Soup, where Joel McHale seems to make fun of every episode of the Challenge, because he naturally mentioned that it had started up again this week!

I have now added the show to my new DVR, and I’ll have a new episode tomorrow!  I foresee my TV schedule being awesome for the next few weeks!